Simple, I drink people's blood.
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Dying Breed
Pustahan, malandi ka na naman bukas.

restraint constraint

(Source: carblink)

❝ 27 :> ❞

First things I notice on another person…

I would say a lot, since I try to notice things more than a normal person could. But when I see another person, the first thing I’d look upon is the eyes. Not that I try to check if they’re cute… I do that because you can see a lot of things through the eyes. For one, you can foresee their interests just by looking at what they’re eying on, or whether they can maintain eye contact when you tell them stories or when you smile at them.

Also, I can easily sense whether a person is worthy of my trust just when I look straight into their eyes. I’m that good of a psychic.

(Source: jackdonaghy)

❝ i thought you're a born again christian ❞
Anonymous

Oh, hello anon. I wonder what made you ask this one. If I offended you at some point in time, then please forgive me, I make mistakes most of the time even without me noticing it. And please, me being super-duper sinful doesn’t have anything to do with my religion. I mean, yes, I do sin a lot, but at the end of the day I always leave them up to God to decide about it. I don’t want to flaunt about my faith since I don’t want to sound self-righteous, but I know I am in a good position.

Now, now. You might tell me that what you see is the exact different of what I am saying. There really must be a high standard that when people say you are a Born Again Christian, then you are striving to be holy and Christ-like. I know I fail at this big time, but I also know that God looks at the heart, and not at the skin. What you see may be deceiving most of the time, but don’t get me wrong, it is not my mission to deceive people.

If this is your way of judging me, I don’t really mind it. It’s what you see; it’s what you hear. If you know me personally that you’ve seen enough evil in me, then I guess you could be right somehow, but I am telling you, anything you see or hear from me is superficial. I can confidently say that what I show people isn’t even half of who I truly am. Even here in tumblr, what you read isn’t always me speaking about myself. But I truly apologize if ever I have hurt you before.

Now, if you don’t know me that much, then I’d like to be your friend. You can dig dipper into me and know me better, if you’d like. I am most of the time seen by a lot of people as mean and rude and anti-social, but I am truly a sweet, caring and friendly person.

Oh, one more thing…

We can talk it out if I have done something bad and you want revenge. I’d gladly take it if it will make you feel better.

:))

❝ V ❞

What my name means?

My full name, Jose Gabriel Noveno… hmm.
I really don’t know, and I wouldn’t bother looking it up. But I do know where they came from. Jose is a Spanish variation of Joseph, I assume. Both my first names are inspired by Biblical characters, Joseph the Dreamer (or Joseph the father of Jesus) and Gabriel, the Messenger angel. How cool is that? Haha. Noveno, when you look into its etymology, I think it’s a variation os novena, or 9 prayers… that or it has something to do with the number 9, as in November.

Survey the heavens, and open them wide…
Through the shining of all the stars of heaven,
Make thyself known unto me
O Tetrabiblos…
I am one with dominion over the stars…
Release thy aspect, a malevolent gate
O eighty-eight signs…
Shine!

"PUGA" (Mang Pancho... Beterano)
  • 3: 47pm... Nakatambay ang mga preso sa activity room ng bilibid...
  • Tonyo: Boring naman.
  • Gaston: May bisita yata si warden kaya pinapunta lahat ng inmates dito.
  • Brando: Para itago tayo sa bisita nya? Wala pala si warden, kinakahiya tayo 'e.
  • Delfin: Na-hurt ka? hahaha!
  • Brando: Slight lang. Gago!
  • Tonyo: Wala namang magawa dito 'e. Hindi pa pwede magyosi.
  • Gaston: Hindi ka naman nagyoyosi 'a.
  • Tonyo: Sinasabi ko lang na hindi pa pwede magyosi.
  • Biglang may nagsalita sa likod ng apat...
  • Mang Pancho: Walang hindi pwede gawin dito sa loob kung marunong kang dumiskarte.
  • Brando: Kilala nyo ba yan?
  • Gaston: Kami ba kausap nyo manong?
  • Mang Pancho: Oo. Narinig ko kasi yung sabi nung kasama nyong mukang tanga, na hindi pwede magyosi kahit hindi naman sya nagyoyosi.
  • Tonyo: Ah hindi manong, ako yung nagsabi non, hindi si Delfin.
  • Mang Pancho: Ikaw nga.
  • Tonyo: Ah ok, sabi nyo kasi yung mukang tanga. Akala ko si Delf...
  • Delfin: Tangina ang tibay naman ng muka mo. Kung hindi lang ako naco-curious kung sino 'tong matandang 'to, pinatulan na kita. Sino ka ba tanda?
  • Mang Pancho: Ako nga pala si Pancholo Makalinta. Mang Pancho na lang mga iho.
  • Brando: Mang Pancho, ano ho bang ibig nyong sabihin na walang bawal dito sa loob sa marunong dumiskarte?
  • Mang Pancho: Walang hindi pwedeng gawin dito kung maparaan ka. Halimbawa yung paninigarilyo dito sa loob ng common area. Hahanap ka lang ng pamaypay, tatabi ka sa may bintana at dun ka magsisindi. Ipaypay mo lang palabas ang usok. Kung may makaamoy na jail guard, kailangan mo lang maghanda ng extrang yosi. I-aalok mo lang yan. Sa tagal ko dito sa loob, halos lahat ng bagay, nadidiskartehan ko na.
  • Gaston: Gano katagal ka na ba dito sa bilibid?
  • Mang Pancho: higit sa 42 years na ako dito.
  • Delfin: Gano katagal ba ang sintensya mo tanda?
  • Mang Pancho: 35 na taon.
  • Brando: Ha?! 'E laya ka na dapat 'a!
  • Tonyo: Oo nga! Lampas ka na sa sintensya mo! Lampas ka na ng.... lampas ka na ng... 42 minus 35?
  • Delfin: Ba't nandito ka pa?
  • Gaston: Oo nga, ba't hindi pa kayo nakakalaya Mang Pancho?
  • Tonyo: Huy! 42 minus 35?
  • Mang Pancho: Sabi ko nga sa inyo, sa tagal ko dito nadiskartehan ko na halos lahat. Kumportable na ako dito. Halos kalahati ng buhay ko dito ako. Mas hindi ko na alam ang diskarte sa labas.
  • Gaston: Wala ba kayong kamag-anak?
  • Delfin: Tsaka mga kaibigan na gustong makita?
  • Tonyo: 'O kaya pets na kailangan alagaan?
  • Brando: Oo tonyo, may pets sya na hindi na nya naaalagaan for 42 years.
  • Delfin: Alam nyo ba na nagpapakahirap kaming apat para makatakas dito? Tapos ikaw na pwedeng-pwede na lumabas, ayaw mo?
  • Mang Pancho: Sige para mas maliwanagan kayo...
  • ...Dito sa preso libre ang kain mo, at kumakain ka ng tatlong beses sa isang araw. Sa labas, kailangan mong magtrabaho para makakain. Hindi pa libre.
  • ...Dito, malalaman mo kung sino ang mga nagmamahal talaga sayo, dahil sila ang dadalaw para makita ka. Sa labas hindi mo alam kung talagang gusto ka nilang makasama, minsan kahit kamag-anak mo, napipilitan na lang kayo magkita-kita.
  • ...At dito sa loob, libre lahat. Gastos ng mga nagbabayad ng buwis ang kuryente natin, pati tubig. 'E sa labas, tayo ang nagbabayad, plus kakaltasan pa tayo ng buwis.
  • Brando: Oo nga 'no.
  • Delfin: May punto ka Mang Pancho. Dito na lang din ako.
  • Gaston: Parang ayaw ko na din tumakas.
  • Tonyo: Kaya pala hindi ka na umalis dito. Mas mahirap maging mahirap pag nasa labas ka 'e.
  • Mang Pancho: Oo, ganon talaga yon. Ang mahirap lang, dito sa loob, bihira mo makakasama sa kama ang asawa mo. Minsan lang kayo makakapag-naughty-naughty.
  • Delfin: Ok na yung minsan. At least minsan lang din ang away nyo.
  • Brando: Mang Pancho, may tanong lang ako.
  • Mang Pancho: Ano yon, bata?
  • Brando: Sabi nyo kasi nadiskartehan nyo na lahat dito. 'E isa sa iniiwasan namin dito, 'e yung ma-rape ng kapwa namin lalake. Ano bang diskarte para don?
  • Mang Pancho: Ang diskarte jan, wag mong pasikipin para hindi ka masyadong masaktan. Umire ka para lumaki yung butas. Sanayan na lang yan.
  • Brando: Tangina, hindi na!
  • Gaston: Ayoko na ulit dito sa loob! Kung itong beterano hindi nakaiwas matumbungan pano pa tayo, takas na talaga tayo!
  • Delfin: Putik pag-usapan na natin mamaya yung susunod na plano!
  • Tonyo: Panong wag sikipan Mang Pancho? Bale pag umire ka, mas hindi masakit yon?
  • Delfin: Tangnamo Tonyo, seryoso ka ba?!
  • Brando: Basta ako ayoko na dito!
  • Gaston: Wala na yata yung bisita ni warden, pinapalabas na yung mga inmates. Sige Mang Pancho, mauna na kami.
  • Brando: Sige Mang P. Salamat sa hindi ko alam kung maganda o panget na sharing mo.
  • Delfin: Sige tanda, nice meeting you.
  • Mang Pancho: Ah sige, sige... Nice talking din mga iho.
  • Tonyo: Mang Pancho...
  • Mang Pancho: 'O Baket? Akala ko umalis na kayo.
  • Tonyo: May itatanong kasi ako, pero wag nyo nang sabihin sa mga kasama ko na tinanong ko 'to ha.
  • Mang Pancho: Sige ba. Ano yon?
  • Tonyo: 42 minus 35... 7 diba?
  • To be continued...
❝ When you find yourself drowning in self-hate, you have to remind yourself that you weren’t born feeling this way. That at some point in your journey, some person or experience sent you the message that there was something wrong with who you are, and you internalized those messages and took them on as your truth. But that hate isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you. And in the same way that you learned to think badly of yourself, you can learn to think new, self-loving and accepting thoughts. You can learn to challenge those beliefs, take away their power, and reclaim your own. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen over night. But it is possible. And it starts when you decide that there has to be more to life than this pain you feel. It starts when you decide that you deserve to discover it. ❞

—Daniell Koepke (via anditslove)

(Source: internal-acceptance-movement, via thediaryofayounglady)

Gently

You are but a distant memory — a faint scent I cannot remember. But then, I knew you were smiling gently, even when I hurt you; even when I shackled you on that blissful night.

You loved me more than anyone…

                              …gazed at me more than anyone

And even through this distance, I always think of you like you never changed. I will never forget the warmth of the gentle hands that touched me.

Your presence still lingers. And though I can see you from afar, my voice doesn’t have the courage to once more leave my mouth and be heard. I have always remained silent.

And through my eyes, I know you can read my thoughts…

                             …but you never looked back to me, ever again

I can never return what we have lost. But your soft, gentle voice gives me the strength to look forward. I wanted you to watch over me, but the distant memory of your face is enough to keep my heart beating as I dream of becoming stronger, and stronger each day.

And through the cycle of the seasons; through the cycle of the stars, I shall treasure in my heart, everything that was left of your gentle smile. And though my memories of you fade into sepia, I know you believed in me more than anyone.

You are just a distant memory…

                                     …a faint scent…

                                                     …but I know you were smiling gently.