"Time waits for no one.”
When I awoke, it was into pitch-black darkness and ice-cold air. I frowned in confusion, examining my surroundings - or, at least, I tried to, for the air was so dark that I couldn’t see anything, not even my own hands in front of my face. The absence of light and warmth felt nearly suffocating to me, but worse still was the intense but inexplicable feeling of foreboding; I could feel dread and horror crawl down my spine and throat like icy needles, amplifying my terror. It all felt too familiar, but when had I been here before?
This is heart-touching, kuya.You should have seen how I transformed from the evil ruler of the Netherworld to a person who loves rainbows. Whut? Haha. Kaya wala akong friends outside tumblr, dahil dyan. Pero mabait naman na ako, di ba?
A confession? Hmmm…
This is something I don’t usually share with people. But since almost no one is online, then I’ll tell you guys my secret.
This might be a long one. I dunno, but I feel like sharing a little of me — someone no one knew from way back 2009.
I was someone who people avoid talking to. All they knew is that I was scary, dangerous and a villain. I exploit people to reach my goals. I use people, especially the weak and the dumb. In short, I’m really trashy. No one ever liked me. I really had a bad attitude. I like to destroy things. I love destroying people’s happiness because all I knew is that I don’t want to see them smiling if it wasn’t for me. I had the need to be perfect. For me, my perfect grades were my world. It even took away my childhood as I locked my nose into those books. And I’m not even exaggerating this. I had no friends from elementary and high school (which was the reason why I chose a faraway school for college, DLSU Dasma).
But then, there was this one guy who I became real good friends with. He’s the only one who understood all my evilness. He was my best friend, and my guardian angel. We were friends since we were 10. And all he wanted for me was to change into someone who’d enjoy little things. He was my happiness. But things had to change. He died. It was exactly a year before I joined tumblr.
I was devastated. I locked myself up from the world. I had depression and had to undergo therapies with a psychiatrist for a whole 10-month period. All the medicines killed me slowly, but then it really helped. I had changed drastically. The person who you know today is a wish from the afterlife that has been granted. I am totally the exact opposite of who I was. Now, what you will see is a childhood relived in me.
I joined tumblr after those dreadful sessions with my therapist. Then I met someone here in tumblr who became my new bestest friend, Jaja — who is basically my fountain of happiness. Then, there is Tatskie, who would always scold me. And most especially, Vinno… my monster.
I still undergo through cycles of medicines for depression, but all is well because of the people who really loves me.
Who I miss?
A lot of people actually. I wonder if they miss me too. Hmm…
My bestest friends: Jaja, Tatskie and Vinno. My kuyas: Kuya JD and Kuya Ran. My playmate, Adee. Some random people in my school, whose names I dunno (and I wonder why I actually think about them).
And most of all…
Myself. Hahaha, chos.